Seemingly so
Ξ February 9th, 2008 | → | ∇ Thoughts of a deviant mind |
She seemingly will never change. Nothing about her will ever be good. She will be stuck, forever bound with the stigmata of being an angry girl. An angry girl who has officially grown into an angry woman. Sadly, they refuse to see that she wasn’t always angry and that she’s trying to not be angry anymore. The problem lies within the thought process running rampant in her mind. The thought that all people are out to get her, all people are out to hurt her and all people will end up destroying her.
She wasn’t always angry. She was carefree, happy and filled with life. Along the lines of growing up that happiness drained. It was like she was unplugged and the happiness was siphoned from her body leaving a lifeless, hateful girl. How can she manage to stay happy when the people she considered friends and loved ones broke her spirit? Her body, mind and soul were violated in inexplicable ways and they still wanted her to smile. She decided that she’d paint on the smile and pretend for them, when all the while she was breaking inside. She was losing the very essence of who she was as a person. The only thing though that people cared about was that she was a well behaved young lady, not that she was severly broken and drowning little by little. The weight of her life and her secrets weighing down on her and shoving her beneath the currents of everyday life.
Life seemed to suffocate her at every turn. She began isolating herself from the world. For years now she’s left herself with no friends, no hope, no help…nothing. She didn’t care anymore, she just wanted to be left alone. She wanted to be away from the hurt, but no matter how hard she tried she always seemed to get hurt.
Now she sits alone. She spends time with only one person. She loves him unconditionally and would die for him. He is her only friend. That way she’s safe. Safe from the world. Away from the people who want to hurt her yet somehow she will never be completely safe. She will always be haunted by her memories of all the hate and regret. And that makes her cry.
